


Vulnerable

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempted Murder, Blood and Injury, Character Death Is Lor San Tekka, Conflicted Kylo Ren, Implied/Referenced Torture, Injury Recovery, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, M/M, Not That Kylo Didn’t Deserve It Though, Past Character Death, Snoke Being a Dick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 15:07:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20744198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: What if Kylo hadn’t stopped Poe’s shot in time?





	Vulnerable

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: Yes, I’m grasping at straws here. Judge me all you want.

The first shot to his shoulder hadn’t been quick enough to block. Even feeling the sting of the blaster bolt where it had gotten through one of the more vulnerable spots in his armor, and the trickle of blood that let Kylo know that it had broken skin, it was a matter of luck that he managed to freeze Poe Dameron before he fired off another shot. 

“Sir,” Phasma said. She strode forward, a striking chrome figure among the plastic white of the stormtroopers. “The pilot? And the villagers?”

”Put him on board. Kill the others.” Kylo managed to grit it out in between bleeding. It was just a trickle of blood, but it occurred to him that Poe Dameron really could have killed him. 

There was something about Poe’s pleas of “No...no!” that were enough to confuse Kylo. What did Poe expect? He had tried to take him down, like any other sort of enemy of the Resistance, and now this? What was Poe thinking? 

He didn’t have time to assess anything else. Didn’t have time to stop and look at the stormtrooper with the bloody print on his helmet — he felt important, but here...here, Kylo doubted he had time —

***

Piloting the shuttle with a wounded shoulder was out of the question — not that Kylo Ren really piloted his own shuttle, actually. Even as he got on board, he could have sworn that Poe Dameron was actually looking at him like, somehow, he felt betrayed. What did he expect, really? What was he imagining, that there was somehow something worth salvaging? 

Min someone like Kylo Ren, at that? 

Kylo ignored him, instructing the stormtroopers to guard Dameron carefully. His mask didn’t do a good job at keeping the erratic sort of jaggedness from his voice. But he was grateful, at least, that the stormtroopers weren’t telepathic. 

No one needed to know that Poe Dameron was his weakness, even now. 

***

”You’re lucky that he didn’t get your head.” 

The young First Order medic working on the blaster bolt wound in Kylo Ren’s shoulder said that, and Kylo couldn’t say he disagreed. Poe Dameron...had just tried to kill him. Had he known what was under the mask? He probably didn’t, Kylo thought. He’d done a good job hiding his identity. Maybe too well. He supposed that he didn’t quite begrudge Poe for it — stars only knew how many people in the galaxy wanted his head. 

He’d taken lives. Sometimes on a large scale. Sometimes on a small one. Ben Solo would have found it repulsive; the first time that he’d killed on a large scale and felt everyone in the Force dying, like some sort of hellish choir of screams, he’d almost collapsed. Now he was...getting used to it, as much as one could get used to killing. Sometimes it was a matter of anger — Tekka’s comment had felt too raw, too personal, too much of a reminder of when he was weak. 

Most of the time, Snoke pointed him at things and said, in no uncertain terms, “Kill them” or “hurt them”. That was what he did. That was who he was. Even if, for that matter, Poe begged him to stop. 

The First Order medic continued. “Don’t worry, Lord Ren. The Resistance vermin who did this to you will pay for what he did. At least he’s locked up now.” A beat. “Not that it’s any of my business, but the only good Resistance member is someone who’s paying for their crimes...”

It felt different, wrong, when it was Poe. Besides, it really was just a graze to the shoulder. Kylo knew it could have been worse. 

The medic continued to treat the wound, before saying, “I suggest you rest for the moment.”

Kylo huffed behind his mask. “It’s nothing.” Still, in a way, he was almost relieved. At least, at bare minimum, he wouldn’t have to hurt Poe. He’d gotten used to using his unique telepathic abilities on people over time, interrogating them, drawing out all he needed to know. The very idea of using it on Poe —

He could only imagine far too vividly drawing out everything he needed to know. Walking through the landscape of their mind, all but ravaging it. He couldn’t do that to Poe. After a decade, was Poe still his weakness, even now? 

Resting would do, not because he really needed it, but because he had to gain some objectivity about the situation. As objective as he could get, at least. He could look at Poe as just another enemy, as opposed to someone Ben Solo had fallen in love with. He tried to remember Snoke’s words, about how Poe had forgotten him, or at least wanted to forget him. How even Kylo’s own mother hated him. Every positive memory of Poe was a weakness, and yet...

And yet the thing about it all was that even resting a while, trying to draw on the seemingly infinite wells of his rage, Kylo doubted that Snoke’s words would be enough. 


End file.
